Christmas Eve

I found this poem floating around in cyber space; therefore I gather it’s there for all sailors at this time of year, especially the very young who know that Father Christmas really exists. If you want proof, then you must read C. S. Lewis’s ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe’, one of ‘The Chronicles of Nania’, or if you can’t make the effort, then see a ‘documentary’ currently showing at most cinemas.

Christmas Eve

T'was the night before Christmas, I swung on the
hook
With snowflakes a'landing, asleep with my book
When up on the deck I heard footsteps and stuff
"I've been boarded!" I thought, and I tried to be
tough

Then down the companionway hatch came a dude
He was dressed like a nut and I thought, "I'm so
screwed"
But he laughed and he hummed as he surveyed my
junk
So I figured he must be the resident drunk

His eyes were lit up like a junkie on speed
But he gave me a whole bunch of stuff that I need
Like rum and cigars and new charts and a dinghy
And some kind of fancy electrical thingy

I knew it was stolen but I wasn't telling
I just hoped he was giving and wasn't just selling
And I poured him a grog which he downed with a
wink
Then I poured one for me (Lord I needed a drink!)

Then he staggered above to the dark snowy night
As I peeked I beheld an incredible sight
Eight tiny dolphins and a beautiful sleigh
And the dude hopped aboard and prepared to make
way

The dolphins were ready to power the sled
But the guy raised a genny and mains'l instead
With a burp and a chuckle he gathered the breeze
And called to the dolphins, now swimming with ease

"Hey Stalker and FEMA and Cancer and Nixon!
Or Stinky and Pepper Spray, Mason, and Dixon!
Or whatever your names are, you cute little
fishes,
Here's to every last sailor, my best Christmas
wishes!"

As he sailed away leaving a wobbly wake
I hoped he had not many stops left to make
He got close to shore and he soon was aground
But the dolphins proceeded to pull him around

And I heard him exclaim as he sailed out of sight
Happy Christmas to all... and to all a goodnight"